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Think about the future to get through a divorce

Many Utah residents are understandably focused on the past when they are ending their marriage. It can feel as though thinking about the future is a betrayal. However, it is necessary to think about how an individual wants his or her future to be in order to negotiate a divorce settlement.

It is nearly impossible for a person to get where he or she wants to be without making a road map to get there. This often requires the ability to begin thinking in terms of "me" versus "we," as it was during the marriage. Determining what is needed to create a new single life will help with the settlement negotiations since having a plan provides focus.

Movies and television often depict people who are divorced as depressed, angry and vengeful. However, that does not have to be reality. There is a reason why a Utah resident decides that the marriage is over, and it would be counterproductive to dismiss that reason that was once so compelling as to cause the divorce. Couples do not have to be at each other's throats in order to end the marriage. In many cases, two people just are not meant to be married for whatever reason. 

That does not mean that the parties cannot be amicable and optimistic about their separate futures. At that point, the parties can move forward to come to a divorce settlement that is satisfactory to them both. Each party should be able to walk away with some hope for the future and a fair and equitable agreement.

Source: The Huffington Post, "Feeling Optimistic About Your Future, Despite Divorce", Kristin Davin, March 21, 2016

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