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Divorcing someone who is in love with their reflection, part II

In our previous blog post, we discussed the prospect of being married to a narcissist and seeking to divorce him or her in Utah. Divorce can be difficult in any situation, but when your spouse is unable to consider the feelings of anybody but him- or herself, the process can become drawn-out, contentious and highly emotionally charged.

We have already the signs that your spouse suffers from narcissism, a personality disorder that may make a person seem highly charming at first but in the end make him or her impossible to share your life with. It can also drive the spouse to be emotionally manipulative, disruptive and selfish during a divorce. Fortunately, there are steps people in Utah can take to help their cause while divorcing a narcissist. Here are three things you can do:

  1. Save up and establish separate credit. A lengthy divorce, which is likely with a narcissistic spouse who wants to "win" at all costs, will probably be quite expensive. Make sure you have a substantial amount of money saved up, if possible. If you do not have your own credit history, start establishing good credit now.
  2. Get organized. Narcissistic people sometimes feel they are above the legal system and frequently will defy court orders to turn over financial documents. This means that it is in your best interest to obtain copies of all important legal and financial papers for yourself. Consult with a divorce attorney or divorce financial planner to figure out what documents you need. Once you have the copies, keep them with a trusted friend or relative, or in a safety deposit box your spouse cannot get at.
  3. Get good help. An experienced divorce attorney will help you stand up to your spouse's attempts to prevent a fair result. A financial planner who specializes in divorce can also be helpful by helping assess possible settlement outcomes. You may also consider seeing a therapist for help dealing with an ex with a personality disorder.

Source: Forbes, "Financial Strategies for Divorcing A Narcissist," Jeff Landers, Dec. 11, 2012

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