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Divorce affects children as much as it does Utah couples

Ask anyone in Utah who has been there, and he or she will tell you that divorce is not easy. Anger, hurt, worry and resentment are just a few of the emotions that divorce can cause -- and that is just from the children. If a Utah couple is to the point where they realize the marriage is over, then everyone in the family is already unhappy.

The enormity of issues that require attention in the divorce process can cause even the best parents to forget that their children are losing the only family they have known up to this point. Not many couples are able to avoid having at least some confrontation, even if it is mild, while negotiating a divorce settlement. Handling these issues away from the children will insulate them from the "business" side of a divorce. The children are going to have many questions of their own, and both parents being available to answer them can put their minds at ease.

The lines of communication and cooperation that parents foster during the divorce can set the stage for post-divorce relationships with the children and each other. Seeing their parents work together to ensure they are happy, secure and cared for can go a long way toward relieving their anxiety about the situation. Many changes are occurring during this transition period, and working together to keep the disruptions to a minimum in both new households makes things easier for everyone.

When a Utah couple negotiates their own divorce settlement without having to go to the court, it can be as detailed as the parties need it to be to foster cooperation in the future. Anticipating possible confrontations and accounting for them in a parenting plan can keep the focus on the children both during the divorce and after. Taking these steps as both individual and family decisions now can potentially head off problems in the future, which can only benefit everyone -- especially the children.

Source:, "Preventing broken marriages from breaking kids", Lois M. Collins, April 2, 2014

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