No one in Utah or elsewhere goes into marriage planning for it to fail. However, it happens, for a number of reasons. A recently released article suggests that, when one or both spouses exhibit certain habits, divorce is likely.
What are these habits? Is divorce a given when they are present? When is divorce the right answer?
Habits that break marriages
The first habit talked about in the article is avoiding confrontation. No one really likes to fight with their spouse, but no marriage is perfect, and fights happen. When one spouse fails to engage and instead walks away or shuts down, it makes the other party feel that what they are feeling does not matter.
Another habit discussed is picking your battles. Again, fighting with your spouse is a normal part of marriage, but it does not mean that you should fight over everything. Having arguments about everyday stuff, like doing dishes or cleaning up, causes unnecessary stress. A study out of Harvard says that 25 percent of couples who filed for divorce in 2018 listed disagreement over housework as their main reason for pulling the plug on their marriages.
The next habit to discuss has to do with finances. Couples who share similar financial goals are happier than those who do not. Financial infidelity and losing track of money cause serious tension in a marriage. Money matters contribute to most divorce cases.
The last habit discussed here is holding grudges. When someone treats you poorly, it can be easy to hold onto the anger you feel toward that person for a long time. In a marriage, if grudges fester and build, there may be no coming back to what the marriage used to be. The anger and resentment may just be too much.
Is divorce a given?
No, divorce is never a given. With assistance, some couples can change habits and work together to rebuild their relationships.
Divorce is only the right answer when one or both parties feel that there is nothing they can do to repair the damage done. Feelings are too hurt, life is unhappy and working to change the situation has produced little to no results.
Choosing to divorce is difficult. No one really wants to give up on their marriage, but sometimes it is for the best. At the end of the day, you and your spouse deserve to be happy, and if your spouse’s habits and the marriage, in general, are making either of you unhappy, letting it go and moving on may be the right choice.